Fantasy Football
Wednesday, August 29, 03:30 AM By
Bryan
Today's Thing was supposed to be a Alberto Gonzales cartoon. I had the master panel and titles done, but didn't like the jokes. Although, did you know that Gee-Dub's nickname for Gonzales was "Fredo?" So, that means either a.) Bush thinks Alberto is the weak son link in his mafia (uh, so, yea, he must also see himself as operating the gub-ment as a mafia business. Yep. Uh-huh.) or b.) he really likes spaghetti sauce.
So, I had to come up with something else. The guys at work have been bugging me to join their fantasy football league. Bugging me like carnival barkers, bugging me like jackals. They know a mark when they see one. But, hey, it is a new Thing. I can learn about it, see what the buzz is (That buzz is about what 10 years old?). I'm not a sports guy, I'd rather watch a movie. I'd rather play a board game than watch a game.
But Jiminy Christmas, fantasy football is the nerdiest circle jerk I've ever run across. On the nerd scale, fantasy football guys make the Star Wars dorks at Comicon look like Hugh freekin' Hefner. Obsessed with minutia to an OCD extent, the blowing up of ghost legends and lore to sycophantic heights, the pointless debates, the tiny-dicked bragging, the twitch twitch twitch at the websites worse than a porn-obssessed meth addict, all that sound and fury signifying nada.
Sports nerds are the nerdiest nerds in nerdville. Most other kinds of nerds I've met have some humorous detachment from their obsessions, but not hardcore fantasy football nerds. Fantasy football nerds are like the mainstream religion of nerdom. Enough people do it, so no one can question it's wackiness. It's serious 'effin business.
So, anyway, I decided to embrace the nerd half of FANTASY football. It's all abstract BS numbers and luck anyway. A weird stat-based game minus the cool, nifty bits. So, I whipped the graphics in this post because every team needs a logo and signed up. Hey, new weird software. I can't think of a better name for my team than The Turf Nerds, but I do like the first fantasy football pic.
Looks like I'll be losing 20 bucks on a stupid game. It's happened before.
